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Can Love Last?

The Fate of Romance over Time

by Stephen A. Mitchell


Common wisdom has it that love is fragile, but leading psychoanalyst Stephen A. Mitchell argues that romance doesn't actually diminish in long-term relationships—it becomes increasingly dangerous. What we regard as the transience of love is really risk management. Mitchell shows that love can endure, if only we become aware of our self-destructive efforts to protect ourselves from its risks.

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Recommendations: 1

Categories: Relationships, Parenting & Personal Development

Reading time: 45 hours

Recommendations


Esther Perel
Therapist, Author and Speaker

Can Love Last?: The Fate of Romance Over Time by Stephen Mitchell. Mitchell’s book was part of the spine of my book Mating In Captivity, because he highlighted an inherent tension that spoke a great deal to me, and it’s the tension in how we try today to reconcile in one relationship, two fundamental sets of human needs: the need for stability, our need for safety, for security, together with the need for change, passion, novelty, and mystery. These two sets of needs that he describes so well that spring from different sources and also pull us in different directions, how we straddle security and adventure, tradition and change, familiarity and novelty, comfort and edge, I think today is a central challenge for couples as well as for companies. It’s a little philosophical book.